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June 29, 2009
The heat and doldrums of summer are officially here. This is a time for setting on the porch with a glass of lemonade (does that sound like an lemonade commercial?). However, I like it. I like summer. I love sitting on the porch at night watching fireflies and doing nothing.
I have been bested in my garden by squirrels, rabbits, deer, and birds. The beans have been nibbled to the ground. The tomatoes have been munched on. The berries have been plucked off their homes by some thieving critter. Even when I try to go out and take care of the garden, mosquitoes eat the devil out of me. The crabgrass keeps invading the flower-beds no matter how vigilant I am. Nature is conspiring against me and winning. Last week, Bob C. brought cucumbers and squash into the office for me. So, I officially retire from the gardening business. Mother nature has won and good church people give me vegetables I can't produce. I sure am thankful for my church.
June 22, 2009
Usually, the church doesn't see what a technology nerd I can be. Lisa likes to pick on me for it. Recently, she's had something else to laugh about.
At my first job after seminary, my boss gave me a Palm hand-held organizer. At first, I thought it was just a neat toy. However, after a while I started using it and realized that it made my life much easier. My life and work is made up of numerous events, recurring tasks, and things to remember. Suddenly, I didn't have to remember anything anymore. This little chunk of electronics did it for me.
In the last couple of weeks, my Palm phone was replaced with a new one. Luckily, the current phone wouldn't stay charged and was on the blink. So, I had a good excuse to get the new phone.
I also enjoyed my first Father's Day. Lisa and Macey made me this stone thing with Macey's foot print in it and it says, "Macey loves daddy." It really is the best gift I've ever received ... even better than my new Palm phone.
June 9, 2009
I also keep a journal about Macey and our family life. I thought I would share a slice of it with you.
Our time together is just about over. Your mom gets out of school Friday and will be watching you most of the time for those two months. I don't know what we're going to do with you next school year.
I admit that I have mixed feelings about that. The church has given me an incredible gift in allowing me to keep you while I work. We have saved money. More importantly, I've had the blessing of getting to see you grow for 7 months. At first, you couldn't even hold anything. Now, I can't get your hands off of things. I still laugh when I remember the first time you really started grabbing things. Naturally, we were having lunch together at Subway. I turned my head for one minute and when I turned back you had grabbed my sub.
In the last few weeks you've become an expert at taking your pacifier out, flinging it across the room, and laughing at me as I retrieve it.
You've made work hard at times. I've ran marathons, survived 4 years of college and three years of seminary, but keeping you while I work has definitely been the hardest thing I've ever done. There have been a lot of days when I had to work at midnight just to catch up. I've never been super patient with crying kids. At times, your crying has made me want to pull my hair out. Just ask your mom, I am not the most patient and selfless person around. At one point, I did not want to have any kids. However, you've helped me to grow so much. You truly have given me the chance to become a better person.
You've also brought so much joy to my life. When I've had a bad day, you smile at me. I've met a lot of people dragging you around town with me while I work.
I've been given a blessing and chance to grow that few dads get. I know you'll never remember all of this, but I sure will.
June 4, 2009
Sometimes, I like these rainy, dreary days. Sometimes, I don't. I have not made up my mind yet. However, the rain and a morning nap for Macey have afforded me a little time to relax in the office with some reading and thinking.
I find it odd how often I pay no attention to my surroundings. On one wall of my office, I have a poster my last church gave me when I left. It has pictures of all the kids and youth on it. I rarely spend time looking at that picture or anything else in my office (other than the computer monitor). I'd be lying if I said I never regretted leaving. From time to time, I do. It has nothing to do with my current surroundings. I just miss that Youth Group a lot. Over four years, I became really close to a lot of them. Now, I find myself growing close to people at Bethany like that.
Well, Macey is determined that her 2 hour nap is only going to be 1 hour. So, I've got to go.
May 26, 2009
I've almost made it. Lisa will be off for the summer in less than 3 weeks. She'll be watching Macey and I'll be a free man. However, I am sure I'll miss having Macey with me all the time. She really is great company.
So far, my garden is doing okay. The corn, squash, zucchini, tomatoes, lettuce, watermelons, and cantaloupes have all come up. I'm still waiting on the cayenne peppers, okra, and other things.
May 21, 2009
Sometimes, this web journal drives me crazy. I like writing and I don't mind doing it. However, when I sit down to write, I almost always have nothing to say. But, when I'm riding around town, I think of a ton of things to say. So, today I kept a list of thouse thoughts on my cookie bag from Subway. Here's what has been crossing my mind:
- Neighbors: I have some "interesting" neighbors at the house. However, I also have some really great neighbors. The guy next door, Dave, has been wonderful to Lisa and me. He allows me to park my push mower in his garage. He feels sorry for me when I do have to use the push mower on my large backyard, and so he allows me to use his riding mower. He's done that and so much more. I know we can't repay him. However, we are definitely thankful for him.
- I have gotten into gardening. I don't know how. It started out with the intention of just having a couple of tomato, squash, and zucchini plants. Now, we've got everything under the sun.
- In the Thursday morning Bible study, we've been looking at the "other" gospels and why they didn't make it into our bible. The Gospel of Thomas was hard for most people to swallow even though it had much in common with our gospels. However, the Gospel of Peter was very palatable to the group. In fact, it sounds much like any of the four gospels. This has been a really great bible study group. We've learned a lot. I've learned a lot. The group really exemplifies who we are as Disciples of Christ. They'be kept open minds and loving hearts as we've studied the bible and things relating to our faith.
Well, the weekend is almost here and it looks to be nice. Hope you can enjoy it.
May 14, 2009
Ketchup. It's my favorite condiment. It is also what I'm trying to do.(My jokes get worse the later in the day it is). Several things have needed to be done. So, I've been working at home here for the last few hours tonight.
I've been painting a picture for Macey's bathroom. I have painted with oils several times. However, I have never done much with acrylic paints. They really are different from oils. The best things about acrylics is how fast they dry. That can also be a minus.
I couldn't help but laugh yesterday. Just a year or so ago, I remember telling Lisa that if I had a house I wouldn't paint any walls, mess with the yard, or plant a garden. I have spent the last 3 months painting, playing in the yard, and planting a garden. Don't ask what happened ... I'm not sure. All the same, it looks like I'm turning into my dad playing around in the yard so much.
Have a nice weekend. Come to the Blessing of the Animals service on Saturday.
May 5, 2009
Yesterday, I met a man who had known my step-dad. In fact, he hired him as the Associate Minister of First Christian Church in Salem. That event and a couple of others got me to thinking about my step-dad.
Grief is such a strange creature. Grief can take the form of obsessing over a loss to the point that a person can no longer function in life. Grief can also take the form of trying to forget about a loss so that a person can function in life. At times, grief rears its head and demands to be paid some attention.
That happens to me. Today, I couldn't help but think about my step-dad. I truly do miss him. He was a wonderful soul. He was a good fishing buddy. He was always there to answer my minister questions or to listen to my frustrations about ministry. I often am sad that he never met my daughter. I know he would have loved her. He loved kids.
Grief and loss is such a common human condition. We all go through it, but we tend to keep it hidden. We don't want others to know that we fall into the pits of despair. However, I am thankful for my faith that reminds me that we shall be reunited.
On to better news ... happy Cinco de Mayo! Over the last several years, Lisa and I have come to love Mexico and its culture. Okay, we really love its food. I will not be surprised if Macey's first word is "hola." Often times, I hear derogatory comments and jokes about Mexicans who have moved to America. However, I think if the shoes were reversed we would have a little more respect for them. Imagine how hard it would be to move to Mexico, learn the language, learn to drive, get a job, and deal with a strange culture. I am always amazed at how well foreigners adapt to life here. Anyway, tonight Lisa and I will celebrate by getting tacos from our favorite Mexican friends at El Rodeo. Often, when Lisa or I get a card for each other, we'll close by saying, "I love you more than tacos!" It may sound strange but it means a lot to us.
May 1, 2009
I see it has been several weeks since posting an entry here. Lisa and I took a little time off for a while. Since then, things have been hectic. So, it genuinely is nice to set down for a minute.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about compassion and how I live out that Christian value. At times, I get so frustrated and irritated with people or life events. As I grow older, I see how necessary it is to be compassionate and patient. These may be some of the hardest Christian values to follow.
For Good Friday, our church followed the Stations of the Cross as it is in "Everyone's Way of the Cross." I have really come to enjoy this small book since I first ran into it several years ago. There is one part were Christ reminds us that our will is our own. What we set our minds to will be. I like the notion that if I choose to be patient, compassionate, and loving I can do it. Nothing in life can change my will. Christ's will was solid and so shall mine.
April 11, 2009
Neither life, nor new life, can be appreciated until we have counted the cost of death. Holy Saturday is essential to hearing the story of resurrection.
These are the words of the devotional writer on Holy Saturday. As I read the scripture from Job, I understood how he must have felt. He was frustrated, he had questions, and he was waiting on God to do something. That is what we do on Holy Saturday. We wait. In fact, we've been waiting all throughout our Christian year. Advent begins the Christian calendar and in many ways Easter is the climax of it.
Today we grieve the loss of Jesus. We grieve the loss of our friends, our family, and neighbors. Tomorrow, we'll rejoice.
This is the last day of my following the Lent devotional that our church has been reading. Forty days ago I vowed to read the devotional every day and to post a journal entry along with it. Surprisingly, I have done fairly well. I have never followed a Lent devotional this well in the past. I did miss a few days here and there, like when we moved and had no internet service. However, I am still encouraged that I kept up with it so well. More importantly, I have enjoyed writing in my web journal more frequently. I know that at times I did the devotional and wrote in my journal so no one would catch me missing a day and ask me about it. In short, I did what I was supposed because I had some accountability. I guess that is good for us Christians.
Well, this is it. Lent is nearly over and tomorrow we'll celebrate Easter.
April 10, 2009
John 18:17 "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" the girl at the door asked Peter. He replied, I am not." 18:18 It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself.
As many times as I've read the Bible, the gospels, and the Easter story in particular, I have never noticed the bit of detail that it was cold outside and Peter was warming himself by a fire.
I really enjoyed that additional bit of detail. However, it also saddened me. From reading the story so many times, I know that Peter will deny knowing Jesus three times in total. Not only does it save his own hide by denying Jesus, but he is busy warming his hands over a fire. Peter doesn't sound like much of a guy. Just a while ago he cut the ear of another man to protect Jesus. What happened to that Peter?
Well, the good news is that Peter turns it all around and tells Jesus three times after his resurrection that he loves him and will take care of his sheep. Not only that, but he would go on to be the rock upon which Christ built the church. This reminds me of the good that God sees in us. We truly are worth saving.
April 9, 2009
Love. It may be the one of the most used words in our language. It is also a popular sermon topic ... and with good reason. As a whole, we humans are not that great at showing love to others, especially to our enemies and people we don't know.
God is love. Jesus showed his love by dying a painful death. Makes me wonder how I'm doing at showing love to others. I know at times I get angry with people and I lose my patience. I'll admit that from time to time, if I having a bad day and I don't have my head on straight, I'll snap at Lisa or get frustrated with Macey. However, it doesn't take long for me to realize that I have been given two unbelievable gifts in these girls. I say, "I'm sorry" and I move on. I get frustrated when I fail to love as Christ loved.
Often, I think we try to not be so hard on ourselves for our failures. However, I hope that I never become complacent with this new command that Jesus has given us: love one another.
April 8, 2009
John 13: 21 - 25
After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, "I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me." His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, "Ask him which one he means." Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, "Lord, who is it?"
The disciples wanted to know which one of them would betray him. I can imagine it almost being a Jeopardy or American Idol kind of moment. The tension is thick. One person will be singled out. Of course, the disciples asked the question because they knew the betrayer had to be one of the others instead of themselves.
As I read the passage again, two answers to Simon's question came to mind. The first answer is that all of the disciples would eventually betray them, not just Judas. The second answer is, "It is I. I will betray you."
How many times I have betrayed Christ by the way I have lived! Even after he has invited me to dinner (Holy Communion) just as he did with the disciples on that night, I am still the betrayer. I tucked the small cross we received at church into my car visor to remind me that I am the betrayer. I sent Jesus to the cross. I am no better and no worse than Judas or any of the other disciples.
And just as the devotional writer says, part of the way of the cross that we must walk is asking for forgiveness for these sins. Like Simon of Cyrene, we help to carry the cross because we are truly the guilty party.
April 7, 2009
One of the best inventions ever is DVR (digital video recording). Even when I've been gone all day, I can sit down and watch my favorite tv shows from the day. By far and away, M*A*S*H is my favorite show. I can remember watching it with my dad and brother when I was a kid.
There are a handful of episodes that are especially meaningful to me. I ran across one of them as I sat before the computer to read the devotion for today. In this episode Father Mulcahy, the camp chaplain, is the focus. Father Mulcahy gives the last rights to the dead, is asked to say a prayer for Radar's pregnant cow, and is punched by a patient who has no respect for the priesthood.
In a moment of frustration, he punches the patient back. This is the final straw that breaks Father Mulcahy's back.
"I hang around on the edge of effectiveness." That is what Father Mulcahy ends up saying. He tells Hawkeye (a doctor) that all he wants is to be useful. He goes on to say that no one comes for confession, the 10:00 ecumenical service has no attendees, and no one comes to talk to him.
I don't know how the writer of that episode so effectively captured the frustrations of ministry, but they did it perfectly. There are days when, like Father Mulcahy, I feel like I hang around on the edge of effectiveness. I write a sermon, put my heart into it, and then wonder if it really makes a difference.
I suppose that we all wonder at times if our jobs really matter. My brother has a really great job flying jets across the world. However, he calls himself a glorified bus-driver. At the end of the episode, Father Mulcahy does one small deed that brings great joy to Dr. Charles Winchester. I pray that in between all the paperwork, meetings, and administrative tasks I perform that I am touching people and helping them through life and their faith journeys.
April 6, 2009
" John 12:7 Jesus said, "Let her alone. She's anticipating and honoring the day of my burial. 12:8 You always have the poor with you. You don't always have me."
These are surprising words from Jesus. Just moments before this, Judas asks why the items that were used to anoint Jesus weren't sold and given to the poor. Judas was pushing the right buttons. He knew that Jesus had a heart for the impoverished. However, I suppose Jesus could see through what Judas was trying to pull off.
At times, when I am really off the beaten path, I wonder if Jesus is aware of what I'm up to. I have always been told that God always knows what I'm doing. But, what about Jesus? Does he have the omnipotent and omniscient powers of God the father?
Recently, I filled out my taxes. There is a line for writing how much money I received from funerals and weddings. Honestly, I don't know the figure. I have never kept up with that. So, I had to take a good guess. However, it sure was tempting to just say $0. I might fool Uncle Sam, but not God.
April 5, 2009
"As we enter upon the holiest week, may we prepare to walk the way of the cross with him."
Those are the words of the author for today's devotion. I am setting in my house at 11:00 PM, laughing at M*A*S*H on tv, and eating baked potato chips. How do I walk the way of the cross as Jesus did when I have this kind of life? I am not a rich man. I can't afford to put in a pool, a new car, or even a new couch. However, I am aware that compared against most people in the world, I've got it pretty good.
It is hard for me to truly conceptualize the suffering that Jesus went through, not only at his death, but even through his ministry. It would seem that Jesus had no place to lay down his head (sound familiar from his birth?). It would also seem that he put up with a lot of angry people who were trying to kill him.
This Lent devotional leaves me wondering what it truly means to live as Christ lived and to carry his cross as Simon of Cyrene did.
April 3, 2009
I liked the story the devotional recalled today:
An old friend used to tell the story about an African-American preacher invited to preach to an Anglican congregation accustomed to reverently bowing their heads when Jesus' name was proclaimed. This preacher had a habit of repetition during his sermons, frequently calling out "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" The bowing heads in the congregation resembled a flock of bobble-head dolls. Ecumenism can do some strange things. May we be willing to be fools for Christ as we show our devotion to him.
I am reminded that even though Lent points out our failures, we might do well to laugh at our failures a little more often. No matter how hard she tries, Macey has a habit of staring at things really close up and she ends up cross-eyed for about 3 seconds. I have learned to just laugh at it and go on with life. There are times when I have no choice but to laugh at my humanity and failures.
April 2, 2009
Philippians 2:1 ::: If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy,make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.
My grandfather exemplified this scripture. I, on the other hand, am still trying. In fact, most of us are. From our birth we are selfish people. As we get older, we learn to look to other's wellbeing before our own. Parenthood has been the best teacher of selflessness so far in my life.
I often wonder how hard we really try to live just like Christ lived. Too often, I live how I think I should. The shame and pain that Jesus endured reminds me why we don't often live as Christ did. He lived to a high standard of love and selflessness that is difficult to replicate. However, we are still on the road of life and we keep on trying.
April 1, 2009
What was most important to Jesus was how much God loved those for whom he would soon die. His whole life was centered on embodying God's love for all of us. He preached, he healed, he loved. Following Jesus is not about looking good in the eyes of the world. It is about loving as God in Jesus Christ has first loved us. It is about being on the road of life, living out of this love, wherever life's winding road takes us.
The above are the words from today's devotional. Life is often described as a road or a journey. Since Lisa and I moved we have had to learn a few more roads. In our efforts to find a short-cut to the grocery store, we went exploring one day. Life really is like a road. There are ups and downs. There is some beautiful scenery and there are a lot of ugly places. There are right turns, left turns, and wrong turns.